


Out of Reach

by tabula_rasa



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombies, Character Death, Drinking, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Older Man/Younger Woman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 22:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5844019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabula_rasa/pseuds/tabula_rasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beth Greene felt like she had been away from home for too long.  But here she was, in the familiar farm house she had grown up, wishing it was a happy reunion with friends and family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of Reach

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this for the last few days and finally finished it! Hope it doesn't suck! (also sorry if there are any typos.. I'm lazy and don't always proofread well)

Beth Greene felt like she had been away from home for too long. But here she was, in the familiar farm house she had grown up, wishing it was a happy reunion with friends and family. Her daddy had died, heart attack, and all she could think about as she sat next to her sister in the sitting room was how the last few times he had called her she had sent his calls straight to voice mail. She had grown tired about all his questions about college and jobs and life.

But there she sat, eyes vacant as she tried to think of the last time she had spoken to him and wishing for a call full of questions she didn't really feel like answering.

Trying not to think about it too much longer, she stared around the room, taking in the guests who were there to mourn with her family. They were all scattered in groups, murmuring quietly to one another. Maggie was crying quietly beside her and she was glad that her sister had Glen, who she could hear comforting her quietly from the other side of Maggie.

She recognized some of the people in the room, unable to recall their names and she caught a few of them casting quick looks in her direction, eyes full of pity. She was glad to see Mr. Grimes there too, a friend of her father's who she hadn't seen in a while. She thought about going to say hello, but she didn't feel she could force a smile along with small talk. His wife-- ex-wife (Maggie had filled her in a few weeks ago, keeping the town gossip up to date)-- Lori, stood near him and she could see the tension between them as they tried to remain friendly for the sake of the mourners. Carl stood apart from them, holding Judith and looking bored. 

Her eyes went back to Mr. Grimes and she recalled the many times he and his family had been over to visit with her father, sometimes joining them for holidays or birthdays. She used to have a childish crush on him, and really could anyone blame her? With his kind blue eyes, his powerful demeanor, the way he looked in his Sheriff's uniform. She felt her cheeks warm, and okay, maybe she still kind of had a crush on him.

It was at that moment, that Mr. Grimes turned her head in her direction eyes meeting hers. She looked away immediately before returning her gaze right away. He nodded subtly at her and she nodded back. She was thankful to see there was no pity in his eyes. She saw pain and understanding, even from across the room, and she found she was able to give him a small smile, nothing forced about it.

She was thankful when the funeral was over, when everyone had left and was no longer staring at her and her sister. She wasn’t alone though. Several members of her family had volunteered to stay an extra week to help out with the house. Her father had left the house to her and her sister, but she wasn’t sure yet what they were going to do with it. She imagined her sister and Glen might move into it, out of the small house they were currently living in. 

She wished she could go back to school and throw herself into her studies, but it was the summer after her sophomore year. Her daddy had the heart attack on her last day of finals, and by the time she rushed home afterward, he was already gone.

Maggie had offered Beth the spare room in her home, but Beth felt she needed to be here, in her father’s house where she could still feel his presence all around her. She wasn’t ready to let go yet.

A few days later and Beth was sick of her aunt’s and cousin’s. She loved her family, she really did, but when all she wanted was quiet it all became too much. She felt like she was constantly being checked on and babied. Even Maggie had checked up on her more than usually did. Beth was sure she was being paranoid, but she thought for sure the extra attention was due to how she had reacted to her mother’s death.

Her mother had died when she was in high school, a car accident caused by a drunk driver. Her mother had died on impact and when Beth found out she thought that her whole world was ending. The feeling had grown and Beth had felt lonelier than she ever thought possible until she went into the bathroom and took a razor blade to her wrist.

She realized afterward she didn’t want to die. It was a stupid mistake that she wish she could take back, but she couldn’t and she was sure her family was waiting for her to do it again. They didn’t seem to realize she had grown up, that she knew she wasn’t alone in this world. 

She just missed her dad.

A few days after the funeral, when her family was starting to be too much, Beth started sneaking out onto the front porch, curling up on the porch swing where she used to sit with her father and listen to him read her the bible. It was on one of these nights, where she was enjoying a few moments to herself, listening to her family inside the house laughing and getting along like nothing had happened that she saw the all too familiar Sheriff's car coming up the driveway.

The porch light was on, casting a glow out onto the front lawn so that when Mr. Grimes stepped out of his car she could see that he was wearing his uniform. He had probably come out here straight from work rather than going to his own home.

"What're you doing out here, Beth?" he asked her before she could greet him, like the polite country girl she knew she should be.

"Just trying to get a quiet moment to myself," she answered, quietly. As if on cue, someone in the house laughed loudly. Beth stood up and made her way to the porch steps. Mr. Grimes was still standing in the yard and she went down to join him.

"How long is your family in town?" he questioned.

"Just for a few more days," she answered. She looked up at him suddenly. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

He watched her for a moment before nodding. She turned and led him towards the barn, thinking about walking around one of the fields or maybe down the driveway and back. They were silent for a few minutes.

"What brings you out here tonight, Mr. Grimes?" she finally asked.

"Rick," he said, causing her to look over at him. They stopped walking. "You can call me Rick. And I just wanted to check up on you."

"Well, I'm fine," she snapped. She turned away from him, starting to walk again, heading now towards the nearest field. 

They walked into the field, Mr. Grimes-- Rick, following a step behind her. A few more minutes passed by in silence before Beth exhaled loudly and stopped walking again, turning to face him.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you," she said, eyes cast downward. "It's just, I feel like I'm constantly being checked on and babied and I just want to be left alone."

"I can leave, if you want," he said quietly, and she looked up to see him take a step back. She shook her head.

"No," she said. "It's fine. Just... just don't treat me like a kid, like I'm going to lose it or fall apart. My daddy died and it's been difficult, but I know I can get through this. _I know I can._ "

They started to walk, Beth circling back toward the barn, silence following them now. She had expected Rick to apologize to her and she was glad that he hadn’t. She had surprised herself by how she had snapped at him, was also surprised she wasn’t coming off as a bumbling fool to this man she had barely said five words to in the past.

When they reached the barn she started back toward the house, and Rick moved to walk beside her. They stopped near his car and she turned to smile at him.

“My daddy always said you were a good man,” she said. He looked down momentarily and when he looked back up she couldn’t help but notice that his eyes were shining more in the dim light.

“Your father was a great man,” he said quietly. “I’m glad I got to know him.”

She nodded her head in agreement and took a step back, ready to go face her family.

“Have a good night, Mr. Grimes… Rick,” she said, before turning toward the house.

“Beth,” Rick said, and she stopped at the bottom of the porch steps. She turned to look at him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but all that came out was a quiet, “Good night.”

She watched him for a minute, standing by his car, looking unsure of what to do. Beth decided to be a little brave in that moment.

“If you want,” she started. “You can check on me in a few days. After my family’s gone.”

He stared at her for a moment before giving a single, short nod. She smiled and turned to go inside. She wasn’t sure what made her do it, what made her invite this man back to see her, but she knew he made her feel safe and comfortable just by being around. She just knew that he would treat her as a person and not some wounded animal. That’s all she wanted from anyone.

At the end of the week, when her family had left with reassurances from her that she would be fine, Beth went up to Maggie’s room and found her old stash of liquor. Despite her father’s problem with alcohol and the family’s household ban on the stuff, her sister had still found ways to get liquor into the house. Beth had found out about the stash on accident and her sister had been so angry, worried that Beth would rat her out. But she had promised that she wouldn’t, and she didn’t.

It was paying off now, though. She grabbed a half-empty bottle of whiskey, and sat right on the floor of her sister’s bedroom, unscrewing the top.

“This one’s for you daddy,” she said, looking up and raising the bottle. “Though you wouldn’t approve and would be angry as hell.”

She felt the tears coming as she brought the bottle to her lips. She took a couple big gulps, ignoring the burning from the liquor. She set the bottle on the floor beside her, pressing her palms to her eyes as the tears finally spilled over. She had been trying so hard to stay strong, but it wasn't working. She missed her daddy, she missed her mother, she missed the life they used to live together.

She drew her knees up and pressed her face against them, sobbing violently. Now that she was alone in this big house, she realized she didn't want to be entirely on her own. She needed someone there for her, but there was no one. She could call Maggie up, knew her sister would be there for her in a heartbeat, but she knew that her sister would overprotective of her and that's not what she needed right now. She needed someone who understood what she was going through, not someone who was going to coddle her and watch her every move like a hawk.

As if on cue, the doorbell suddenly rang, jolting Beth back to reality. She looked around her sister’s room, at the open bottle beside her. She sniffled, her tears slowing and the doorbell rang again. She got up carefully, wiping at her eyes and face, trying to get rid of the evidence that she had been crying, but she had no doubt that her face and eyes were now red and puffy.

She hurried downstairs and open the front door to find Rick Grimes retreating to his car. At the sound of the door opening he paused and turned, smiling when he saw her. 

“Hey Beth,” he said, moving back towards the porch. He climbed the stairs quickly till he was standing in front of her. She just watched him. “Saw your sister in town and she said your family had probably left by now. I told her I’d check on you.”

He studied her face, and she was sure he was taking in the fact that she had obviously been crying.

“You aren’t working today?” she asked, as it was the middle of the day and he wasn’t wearing his uniform. She felt like she had rarely seen him in regular clothes. He was dressed casually in black pants and a long-sleeved, dark blue flannel shirt.

“No,” he answered, shaking his head. “Got the weekend off.”

She nodded, sniffling slightly before remember her manners.

“Would you like to come in?” 

“Sure,” he said, before following her into the house. She closed the door and turned to head to the kitchen.

“Have you eaten?” she questioned. “There should be plenty of leftovers in the fridge from my family.”

“I’m good, thank you,” he answered. “What about you? You eat anything yet today?”

“My family wouldn’t leave unless I ate something this morning,” Beth responded, turning to face Rick in the entryway of the kitchen. “And then I had some whiskey.”

He looked at her in surprise, and she just shrugged.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Beth?” he finally asked quietly. “I know you don’t want to be checked on, but we’re all… _I’m_ worried about you.”

“That’s really nice of you to say,” Beth said. “But no one needs to worry about me. I’ll be just fine.”

But she knew she was lying to everyone, and to herself, as she had realized before Rick had gotten there. And suddenly the tears were there again and she was sobbing and Rick was coming forward, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him. Her arms were caught in the middle and she gripped the front of his shirt, pressing her face into the soft flannel of his shirt.

They stayed like that for a while, Rick holding her tightly as she cried. When the tears finally slowed and she was able to breathe, she pulled away from him, face flushed from their closeness.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, swiping the back of her hand across her eyes.

“No need to apologize,” he said quietly. “Now where’s that whiskey you were drinking?”

“Wait here,” she said before hurrying up to Maggie’s room to grab the bottle she had abandoned earlier.

When she got back to the kitchen, Rick was sitting at the table, two glasses in front of him. He took the bottle from her hands and poured them each a hefty amount of the brown liquor.

He raised his glass, and she did the same. He looked thoughtful for a moment, trying to figure out the right words to say.

“It feels wrong to toast Hershel with whiskey,” he said quietly and Beth let out a strangled laugh.

“I toasted him earlier,” she said, eyes watering again.

“Well, we’ll do it again then,” he responded with a small smile. “To Hershel.”

They clinked glasses and Beth downed her drink quicker than she probably should have. But Rick didn’t judge her, didn’t reprimand her. He just watched her.

Beth had never been much of drinker. She never wanted to upset her daddy and even when she went off to college and went to parties with friends, she didn’t drink much, worried about what her father would think if he knew.

She’d only gotten truly drunk once and had ended up losing her virginity to a guy she had thought of as a friend, but as soon as he had gotten what he wanted he was gone. Their friendship dissipated like it had never existed to begin with. She had cried on the phone with her sister, and Maggie had told her that guys were stupid but when the right one came along she would just know.

But Beth had been wary of guys ever since. Sure she had gone on some dates, but she was worried that she would become attached, that something would happen and he would just leave.

When they had both nearly polished off the bottle of whiskey, the sun had set and Rick made her eat something and drink some water before bringing her up to her room. She lay down on the bed, the room spinning and she pressed her hands to her face. 

He left the room and returned with a glass of water. She knew she was drunker than him, she being the lightweight that she was.

“If you need anything, I’ll be right down the hallway,” he said quietly, soothing a hand over her hair. Before he could step away she grabbed his hand and their eyes met.

“Can you stay, please?” she asked, not wanting to be alone right now. “At least till I fall asleep.”

He hesitated, watching her before sitting on the edge of her bed. She didn’t let go of his hand, and she savored the contact, his skin warm and rough against hers. 

“Thank you for understanding,” she murmured, her eyes sliding shut.

“Just go to sleep,” he said quietly, his other hand on her hair, a comforting touch she never knew she needed.

When she woke up it was still dark out. Her mouth was dry and she was definitely still a little drunk, but the room had thankfully stopped spinning. She sat up slowly and reached for the glass of water she was glad that Rick had thought to leave for her. She took a few cautious sips, savoring the coolness of the water on her tongue.  
She remembered she had fallen asleep with Rick sitting beside her and she figured he must still be here. It wouldn’t be a good idea for him to drive and she had a feeling he also stayed to make sure she was all right.

She got out of bed and moved quietly down the hallway. She went to the bathroom and on her way back to her room; she paused outside the closed door of her father’s bedroom. She hadn’t been in there since he passed and for whatever reason, she felt now was a better time than ever to go inside. She opened the door carefully, but it still creaked loudly—she hoped she wouldn’t wake Rick up.

She stood in the open doorway, taking in the room. She could make out the general details of the room, the bed neatly made, the room tidy. She could picture her father’s bible on the nightstand. She knew his desk would be the messiest part of the room, various papers strewn across it.

Her heart ached for her father. The room smelled like him—like cotton and books. Silent tears made tracks down her cheeks, and she backed out of the doorway, pulling the door shut. She turned to go back to her room without looking and bumped right into Rick who must have been sleeping in the spare bedroom next to her own.

“Sorry if I woke you,” she said quietly, her voice shaking slightly.

“It’s alright,” he said. He reached for her hand. “Let’s go back to bed.”

She thought he was going to bring her back to her own room, but instead he led her into the spare room and he noticed the pause in her step when she made the realization.

“Sorry,” he said, turning to look at her. He let go of her hand. “You can go back to your own room. I just thought you might not want to be alone.”

She reached her hand back out and grasped his again, shaking her head.

“No, it’s fine,” she whispered. They stared at each other in the darkness for a moment before Beth, without even thinking about it, stepped forward and placed her lips on Rick’s cheek. She felt him tense slightly, exhaling through his nose, but she didn’t step back, adding, “Thanks for caring so much.”

He turned his head, so that their faces were close enough for her to feel his breath on her lips. He opened his mouth, probably considering offering her an “it’s no problem” but instead his lips came down on her own and there was a sharp intake of breath as she opened her own mouth, welcoming the kiss.

Her hands gripped his shoulders, his hands gripping her waist, pulling her to him. She could feel all the comfort and care this man wanted to give her in this single kiss. Knew he didn’t know how else to give it to her, because she felt so closed off. She didn’t know that this was what she needed. Someone to make her feel solid, like she could continue existing in a world without her father.

Rick pulled away, resting his forehead against hers. She opened her eyes, meeting his, and she could see the apology forming.

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” she said before he could get the words out. She leaned up to kiss him again and she felt him relax against her. “Let’s go to bed.”

Silently, they climbed into bed and Beth let Rick wrap his arms around her and she buried her face against his chest. They didn’t say a word as they lay together, and that was just fine. They didn’t need words to say how they were feeling. 

They only needed each other.


End file.
